My Newz 'n Ideas

It is my intent to express my opinion and to discuss current events. Feel free to make suggestions to fields you would like to see covered, and I will consider them. Please leave your name with comments. Thank you. Arabic: عربي.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

CIA Uses NY Times Planes

I was not going to say anything about this, but I am compelled under the need to know doctrine that is so prevelant these days. I understand we are at war. I understand this information will make targets of the planes because I am telling you about them. It is not my problem, you see, because you need to know.

Now that I have that out of the way, I have it under good authority (undisclosed CIA operative who took a sworn to secrecy oath) that the CIA has been using the NY Times owner's and CEO's planes to transport captured al Qaeda prisoners to Gitmo. They fly from Kennedy airport, after stopping in Hell's Kitchen to have a chat with the staff of NY Times.

After this, the staff calls the owner (whose name shall remain anonymous for his protection) to get ready to go to the airport. The owner enjoys going on these rides so he can interrogate these "evil doers" (his words).

They usually wait until 9 pm. Then they take the private jet leaving out of gate ---- (redacted) to head for Cuba. You may find the closet time for flights leaving for Cuba, and you can bet that is the NY Times along with al Qaeda prisoners and CIA operatives.

Now let me ask you a question...did you really need to know this? I didn't. It is the way we lose wars. Loose lips sink ships or planes in this case. So why would the NY Times write an article today about the CIA's movements in a war zone? When you can answer this question in any way other than they want the enemy to win, then you rag on me. Until then, bombs away, NY Times!

Hey al Qaeda, they are in downtown NY City. Don't forget them. They might have some information for you, and then you can chop off their heads.

Am I angry? You bet you sweet touche I am. Read this and you'll know why.

DISCLAIMER: This is satire.